Asteya for Depleted Mums: Stop Stealing from Yourself and Start Reclaiming Your Energy
If you’re a mum who feels constantly depleted, you’re not alone. Most of us know the feeling of running on empty - giving, giving, giving, until there’s nothing left for ourselves. But what if I told you that, without even realising it, you might be “stealing” from yourself every single day?
What is Asteya?
Asteya is one of the yogic principles, and it means “non-stealing.” While it’s easy to think of stealing as something we do to others, the truth is, many mums are experts at stealing from themselves - time, rest, joy, even their own sense of self-worth.
As Rolf Gates writes in *Meditations from the Mat*:
The practice of non-stealing is the practice of abundance. When we stop taking from ourselves and others, we discover the richness that is already present in our lives.
How We Steal from Ourselves
- Stealing Time: Saying yes to every request, filling every moment with tasks, and leaving no space for your own needs.
- Stealing Rest: Pushing through exhaustion, ignoring your body’s signals, and treating rest as a luxury instead of a necessity.
- Stealing Joy: Putting your own happiness on hold, believing you have to “earn” joy, or feeling guilty for wanting more than just survival.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. So many of us have internalised the idea that a “good mum” is a selfless mum. But when we constantly steal from ourselves, everyone loses - especially us.
My Own Asteya Moment
This week, I’ve been solo parenting - juggling all the logistics, emotions, and endless to-dos on my own. And here’s the truth: even when I was physically present with my little one, I realised I wasn’t truly there. My body was on the floor, playing, but my mind was racing through to-do lists, work tasks, and the logistics of family life. My nervous system was already in anxious mode, even as I tried to be “present.”
It hit me that this, too, is a form of stealing from myself. I was robbing myself of the joy and connection right in front of me, and denying myself the chance to actually rest - even in moments meant for play.
For a while, I just accepted this as “normal” - that being a mum meant always being half-distracted, always running on empty. But Asteya invites us to pause and ask: what am I really giving myself in these moments? Am I offering myself presence, or am I taking it away?
That realisation was a turning point. Instead of letting my needs slip to the bottom of the list, I decided to try something different. Each morning, before the day swept me away, I dedicated just half an hour to my yoga practice. Sometimes it was gentle movement, sometimes just sitting in stillness with my breath. That half hour wasn’t always easy to claim, but it changed everything. I felt more grounded, more patient, and - most importantly - more like myself.
It was a small act of Asteya: giving back to myself, instead of always taking away. And the ripple effect was real - I found it easier to be present with my little one, to actually enjoy those moments, rather than just ticking them off the list.
Reclaiming What’s Yours: Gentle Strategies for Asteya
1. Name What You Need
Take a quiet moment to ask yourself: What am I craving right now? Is it rest, laughter, alone time, or movement? Naming your needs is the first step to honouring them.
2. Set Micro-Boundaries
Boundaries don’t have to be big or dramatic. Try saying, “I need ten minutes to myself,” or, “I’m going to bed early tonight.” Small boundaries add up to big shifts.
3. Schedule Joy
Don’t wait for joy to find you - put it on your calendar. Whether it’s a solo cup of tea, a walk, or a favourite song, treat your joy as non-negotiable.
4. Practise Compassionate Self-Talk
Notice when your inner critic says you’re “selfish” for taking time. Gently remind yourself: You deserve care, too.
5. Rest Without Guilt
Rest is not a reward. It’s a right. Give yourself permission to rest, even if the to-do list isn’t finished.
The Ripple Effect
When you practise Asteya and stop stealing from yourself, you show your children what it looks like to honour your own needs. You model self-respect, self-trust, and the truth that you are worthy of care - just as you are.
This week, I invite you to notice the small ways you might be stealing from yourself, and to choose one gentle way to give back. Maybe it’s ten minutes of quiet, a nourishing meal, or - like me - a half hour of movement that’s just for you. You are allowed to receive, to rest, and to reclaim your joy.
Ready to take the next step?
If you’re craving a gentle reset and some practical support, I’d love to invite you to my free 3-Day Mum Reset. Over three days, you’ll receive simple, nurturing practices to help you refill your cup, reconnect with yourself, and start giving back to the amazing woman you are.
You are enough. You are worthy. And you don’t have to steal from yourself to prove it.
Join the 3-Day Mum Reset here.